How to make a Ghost Phone

1. 1. Record and load the MP3 player:
   1. 1a. Decide on which Ghost you want to summon. Think of who the ghost is, and who they’re talking to. Set a scene. All my Ghost Phones are first person: the ghost totally monopolizes the conversation…and just never lets you get a word in edgewise. Although the ghost might even ask a question, they either answer it for you or they just continue talking. But this is just for me. I’m sure you can create a different purpose…a different intention. A different scene. Yes.
   2. 1b. Record your audio, or cut it from some source, and be sure to cut together as long an audio file as possible (Adobe Audition is amazing). 5 to 10 minutes is minimum: you want to audio to be longer than your audience’s attention span. For example, the Judy Phone has 30 minutes of audio (o.k., i know, no-one's attention span is 29 minutes, especially not for Judy, but I thought, what the hell. So I went overboard.) On the opposite end of the spectrum, The Nixon Phone has only 6 minutes of audio. But i consoled myself by thinking that no one would EVER listen to Richard for that long. (As a side note, just so ya know, it was one of the most tedious and boring audio editing tasks i've worked on. Jeese.) Anyway you never want your audience to hear a repeat; that’s just sloppy dreamsharing. Also, it might be nice to filter the audio so it has the same limited frequency-range of a telephone, but it’s up to you.
   3. 1c. Get a small, cheap MP3 player. Something simple, tiny, and less than 1 gig if available, since it’ll only be used for this project. And just so ya know, i stay away from internal non-replaceable batteries. They tend to die in the middle of a performance and then the only way to fix it is to spend a couple hours waiting for it to recharge. Impossible.

      A shopping list for a ghost phone MP3 player

      • as small as possible.
      • as simple as possible: no need for fm radio, microphone, t.v. or pencil sharpener.
      • a generic player. I stay away from proprietary devices, like Sony or Apple, where you have to download their software to use the device. Stupid. You’re just downloading an MP3 for pete’s sake.
      • a display or screen to see what’s going on deep within.
      • a replaceable battery, probably AAA.
      • if you get a rechargeable device, consider getting two identical devices, so you can quickly swap them when one goes dead.
      Good places to find players are: thrift stores, a search on eBay, a web-search under a couple of words like oh, I don’t know, "cheap MP3 player", or sometimes a big-box retailer has ‘em as specials. Just yesterday i saw a wall of High School Musical and Hanna Montana MP3 players at some big store. So, if you just wait for Hanna Montana’s 15 minutes to fade as rapidly as Billy Ray Cyrus’, you'll find her custom MP3 players stuffed on the racks at a bargain bin. Just you wait!
   4. 1d. Load the MP3 file in the player, (it helps if the only file on the player is your Ghost Phone audio), set the player to permanent loop/repeat, press play, and you’re set.
2. 2. Replace the speaker in the earpiece:

   Some secret knowledge about headphones

   Ya really don't want to use the existing telephone speaker because: first, speaker technology (and likewise, microphone technology) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loudspeaker has advanced considerably over the past 10 or so years, simply because higher powered permanent magnets are available: stuff like rare earth magnets…neodymium magnets. Therefore, any new, cheap headphones will most likely be louder and clearer than some old set you've been saving just for this moment in that scrap box of yours down in the dusty basement. And second, the analog telephone’s speaker has a different impedance than what your MP3 player can handle, so you’ll have to exchange it. The goal here is to match the MP3 player with its headphone speaker.

   1. 2a. As you unscrew the telephone’s ear piece, you’ll see that it’s screwed into the wiring by 2 spade lugs. Unscrew the earpiece and toss it away. Throw it on the ice at the next hockey game. Or hide it in a clothes dryer and run.
   2. 2b. Take the headphones which work with your MP3 player and break off one earpiece, one achy breaky earpiece, leaving as much wire as possible. Keep about 3 inches of the wire pair, strip each wire to about ½".

   3. 2c. Crimp 2 insulated female spade lugs, then plug the spade lugs together.

      

      No bare wires should be visible…check for shorts. Wrap it up with electrical tape or something.

3. 3. Connect the audio jack to the telephone’s terminal strip:
   1. 3a. Take what remains of the broken headphones, cut off a foot or so after the plug.

      Some secret knowledge about phone plugs

      Let’s pause here and talk for a moment about stereo phone plugs. Here’s a broad description of phone plugs: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TRS_connector And following is the link directly to a description of the sleeve and its conductors: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TRS_connector#Tip.2Fring.2Fsleeve_terminology As you can see, the sleeve that we're using from the MP3 player headphones has three conductors: left, right and common. So, you gotta join 2 of the wires – but which 2? So strip the three thin wires, and test: you got a multimeter? Damn, use it!

      Or if ya don’t then just plug in the MP3 player, have the headphone speaker nearby, and join 2 of the 3 wires together. Take these 2 conductors and touch them to the speaker. If it plays, then permanently twist the wires together. If not, then undo it back to 3 wires, and twist the other two together. Hum, howabout the other two? That's just gotta work.

   2. 3b. When you have 2 wires from the headphone jack, trim the wires to about ½" and crimp on male spade lugs.

   3. 3c. Take the cover off the phone and look for the main terminal strip. It’s under the handset cradle. I’m pointing to it with my favorite yellow screwdriver. See?

      

      Note: most phones are different, so some experimentation will be in order.

   4. 3d. Since it’s fun to keep the handset working so the voice cuts off when the handset’s placed in the cradle, trace the 4 wires from the handset (two are for the earpiece, two are for the mouthpiece), down thru the cradle switch, down onto the main terminal strip. This might be multimeter-time again, i don't know, well, it would just be easier. But if ya still don't got one, get clever and go primitive: turn the MP3 player on, touch your 2 MP3 male lugs to the 4 handset wires on the main terminal strip and listen for which 2 wires on the terminal strip are for the earpiece. Screw the lugs into the terminal strip.
   5. 3e. All that remains is to cut a hole (with a saw, Dremel or metal shears: dealer’s choice!) in the metal base of the phone so the MP3 player can be hidden inside the phone. Maybe you could make a door. I just cover the opening with duct tape. But you’re more talented than I am, and have better skills.